> You married the Wrong Person.

 

You totally married the wrong person.

We all did…

… and here’s why.

 

We are social animals; so if you are human and have a heartbeat, you are will absolutely live through many versions of yourself based on your experiences shaping you over the course of a marriage. The person you are and the one who sleeps beside you, are literally different people than you were at “I do”. So how could the ‘right’ person, right now, still be that …

>I take it back…

You told your partner “it” was okay…

but it wasn’t…

not really

You know what I’m talking about.

The thing you just don’t talk about.

Maybe you knew it then; you definitely know it now.

But you just don’t know how to take it back.

You feel trapped, by “it”.

My esteemed colleague, Esther Perel, has written so eloquently about sexual honesty.

Please find the article here.

I hope you love it too.

 

www.BreakthroughMFT.com

>Strapped In

Balancing both feet on a thin wire strung high up between two trees, even my pinkie fingers are shaking.

I’ve gotten almost to the middle without looking down..
.

But when I see how far I could fall, I see only certain death coming if I continue.

I feel only the fear.

I freeze.

Static fills my ears.

Then a voice reaches up to me –

“What’s gonna happen if you fall?”

Apparently, my whole team had …

>Why VDay is Hilarious…

Okay, it is not that I hate V-Day;

I do take issue with a culturally integrated event in which folks are encouraged to save up all of their appreciation of each other for one day of ‘sorry I’ve been such a d-bag the other 364′.

And apparently there’s not enough alcohol, sugar and flowers to make up for it, because I get a lot of calls on the 15th from couples who would ‘please like to …

>Play.

When was the last time you played?

I mean…

Just let

your body

GO?

It’s Sunday night, way past bedtime, and my daughter has come out of bed for the third time. We’ve had a fantastic weekend, and I think she just doesn’t want it to end.

I know the feeling.

She has that smile on her face; the one that sometimes infuriates me because, generally speaking;

Now. Is not. The time.

But the energy from …

> Why your wife looks like a Sabre-Tooth Tiger

Q: “Sometimes I feel SO ready to talk to my wife but one look from her, and I shut down. I really want to tell her, but I just can’t…” –”Don”

A: Don, you’re perfectly describing the desire to be known, at the same moment you’re terrified to be ‘found out’. Which makes you human. So there’s good news.

Fear is rooted in the survival center of our brain, and cavemen who had sex when they should have been hunting …

>Simple. But not Easy.

Maybe you know that I spin. What you may not know is that spinning has carried me through some really tough stuff.

At times, I’ve felt safest when I was alone on the bike; and all that mattered was how my legs powered up and my body surged forward – looking for the next race.

(Yeah, therapists get defensive too…)

But it got lonely up there, and it was definitely getting old. The bike didn’t hold the same energy as it did before. …

>Guaranteed relationship improvement #DoOneThing

Yeah, you.
Put it down.
Your life, your LOVE is waiting!

>RIP Robin

I met Robin Williams at an In-n-Out Burger, many years ago. He truly seemed like a dad out for a bike ride with his kids on a gorgeous Northern California day. Somewhere there’s a picture of my brother standing with him in that parking lot, taken with an actual camera, in the days before life started moving so fast.

Was it moving too fast?
Was it too much to take?
What….happened…?

Many of us can recognize the pain of unanswered …

>How to LIKE your partner (again)…

Along the lines of last week’s post about actually liking your partner, you may ask – how do I do that? Has it been that long?

The better predictor of relationship satisfaction is not how well your partner supports you in tough times, but rather, how you share the good times together! So step 1 – create an environment in which you have fun, not to compete or aim for perfection – just to Have. Fun. Together. (again).

For example, by now …