Archives for March 2011

>Oh, you big baby!!!

In our relationships, we’re often bogged down with “emotional baggage”, backward reasoning and twisted logic that distract us from the truth… that we just wanna be loved.

What would happen if you dropped all of your big, grown-up words and were honest about what you need? Well, you just might resemble the baby in the clip below; she vies for Mom’s attention with increasing volume, as Mom stares blankly back. Sooooooo… imagine the baby is your partner, trying to get your …

>I didn’t know it would FEEL like this…

Jennifer* liked the idea of being a traditional stay-at-home-mom, and John* made good money, but worked long hours, so they started a family almost as soon as they married, nine years ago. At first, everything was great, and two more kids followed quickly after the first. The youngest just started first grade, and Jennifer has been feeling lonely without the kids running around all day. John becomes angry whenever she brings up feeling neglected or asks him to spend more …

>”We’re in this together”

As we obsessively replay the youTube footage of the total annihilation in Japan, it is easy to miss one of the smaller, more hopeful stories  that’s developing there. I’ll tell you what it is…

Instead of “hello”, Survivors in Japan are greeting one another with “Ganbarimas“, which translates as ‘We’re in this together’, or ‘Hang in there’. This unbelievable spirit of community and support arises out of a horrific disaster, much as we witnessed on the streets in the weeks following …

>If you don’t know, then I’m certainly not going to tell you…

Okay, wait… HOW am I supposed to know this about you, if you don’t tell me? I hear this a lot from women and men who find their intended partner, and expect to  be living immediately in a Titanic – type love affair. Trust me, Leo and Kate would have had some serious arguing ahead if he’d actually lived longer than 48 hours after meeting her!

Listen up -The evidence of your love is not in magically knowing things about …

>We both need to be right!

There is a sister version of this, which is known as, “If you’re right, then I must be wrong.” And the extended version, “I am always right.”

The pattern in this relationship generally consists of both partners insisting that their viewpoint is the “right” one, and should be adhered to/followed. Words like ‘stubborn’ and ‘bull-headed’ come to mind with this pattern. Have you thought this about your partner? Have you yourself been called these names?

In this kind of dynamic, very often …

>I wouldn’t nag if you would just listen to me!

Enough with Charlie Sheen. Frankly, if he weren’t getting so much negative attention, he might have a second to breathe and consider whether his actions are actually helpful to him or not.

How often do YOU consider the helpfulness of YOUR actions? Are you, like so many of us, stuck in a relationship pattern that seems to have a life of its own? In the next two weeks, I’m going to address a few of the typical cycles and suggestions about …