Archives for July 2011

>Let’s unpack…

I promised to talk about what’s getting set off for you by your partner’s behavior, and then I got distracted. BAD Therapist! No cookie for me!!!

So you remember the 90/10 rule, right? (Go ahead, click the link, I know you don’t have all day to keep this stuff in your head – that’s why you have me!) The 90/10 rule means that you absolutely have a right to be pissed at your partner, because what …

>”Healthy” fighting?!

Question via email:
“What is “healthy” fighting? Is it about the pre-approach/pre-conflict resolution, the conflict itself (cusses and all), or the make up? Can you set new patterns, or does the pattern, once set, repeat itself to infinity?”

A: I’m so glad you asked- Healthy couples do argue; when they deny it, I worry about what’s not being said! In my experience, a healthy argument is essentially one in which both partners get to express their viewpoint and feel valued as people; …

>Gen Xers are now the “Helicopter Parents”?!

Have you ever wondered how you got through your entire childhood without Baby Einstein and LeapFrog? Were you ever left in the car with your siblings while your mom did ALL her shopping? Here’s an interesting audio link that may explain why:

“Divorce Generation” on WNYC – Brian Lehrer Show

>It’s not about the toothpaste.

You’re staring at your partner’s toothbrush, resting comfortably on its spot above the sink, dripping creamy white froth onto your shiny faucet. Drip. Drip. Driiiiiip… You have asked them to rinse it about Forty. Billion. Times… Each drip raises your anger to a new level until you are moved to storm down the hallway and screech horribly, “WHY DID YOU EVEN MARRY ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!??!” True story. Embellished just a little.

It’s true that something huge, like an …