>Strapped In

Balancing both feet on a thin wire strung high up between two trees, even my pinkie fingers are shaking.

I’ve gotten almost to the middle without looking down..
.

But when I see how far I could fall, I see only certain death coming if I continue.

I feel only the fear.

I freeze.

Static fills my ears.

Then a voice reaches up to me –

“What’s gonna happen if you fall?”

Apparently, my whole team had …

>How to Suceed at Marriage Therapy (?)

The research says that by the time most couples get into therapy, it’s about six years later than they should have come; and there are all kinds of reasons for that. Bygones.

Once you get on that path, though – once you are ready to make that call, what should you consider? How should you approach it? I love this HuffPost blog about ‘How to Succeed at Marriage Therapy’

I would …

>It’s not about the toothpaste…

Whenever I stretch above my head, my shoulders instantly move down and let the big muscles in my back propel my arms upward; my fingers instinctively form two cups and swoosh down, pushing the air past me. It’s muscle memory – it’s old; it comes from years of competitively swimming butterfly (that’s right, y’heard me…). Even though I haven’t swum seriously for 20 years, my body still knows exactly what to do when tasked with anything that even …

>Love me like a dog…

Dogs love fearlessly. Show them a smile and friendly tone, and they’ll show you their belly. Loving dogs is easy; it’s loving people that gets complicated.

We all have ‘baggage’, that’s not what makes it hard to love and be loved. What makes it hard is alllllll things we do that prevent us from really being seen. Over time, we raise a wall to protect ourselves from getting hurt. We add bricks to the wall when …

>”My apologies”

Many years ago, I learned the phrase, “My apologies,” from a colleague who seemed to know that the sincerity of her words are more important than any explanation she could offer. Sooooooooooo…..

My apologies for putting the blog on hold for the past 2 months. Many of you have asked about it, and missed it popping up in your inbox every Tuesday. The truth is, I have been working on certification as an Emotionally Focused Therapist, and it …

> Cheating in Yoga Pants…

At the 2012 EFT Summit this past weekend, I’m listening to a presentation of cutting-edge research on why people ‘cheat’ on their partner, and all I can think is, ‘Where do they find the time?!’ 

As the full-time working mom, I get home too tired to answer the phone most nights; I have my hands full with Cute Huzzband and Tenacious Toddler. It comes down to the fact that I simply have no energy to add on a ‘Secret Lover’; …

>Just tell me…am I Needy?!

“Tell me you like spending time with me,” she says, looking over her shoulder; something in her expression says she knows, but still really needs to hear it*. And of course she does; we all do. What’s happening in our lives directly affects how we feel about each other, and ourselves. As social creatures, we have amazing capacity for both stability and change, depending on the quality of our experience.

>You’re acting like a two-year-old!!!

OMG, you are about to rip your hair out – you HAVE a two-year-old, or maybe you’ve RAISED your two-year-olds, you do NOT need your partner behaving like one, too! More importantly, when do YOU get to have YOUR meltdown? (i.e., you’re freaking out, too, you’re just holding it down as best you can…)

Here’s the most amazing thing I learned this week – The part of our brain that regulates attachment never matures

Really?

Really. Apparently, …