Category: Marriage

  • >What we fight about…

    >What we fight about…

    The big three. Sex. Kids. Money. Let’s talk about SEX, baby…it’s a big one – especially once you have kids and fall off that gravy train, (assuming that you were getting enough before…) There is much to be said about stress and exhaustion, but we just feel like something’s wrong if we’re not ‘doing it’.…

  • >Is it me???

    Yeah, it’s you – partly. I mean, no matter how screwed up your partner is, you’re the one who chose them in the first place, so you must be at least equally screwed up, right?! But before you drown your sorrows in the concoction of your choice (i.e.; ice cream with mashed-up candy bars, mmm…)…

  • >What’s stopping you?

    “The only limits we have, are the limits we set for ourselves!” -John Victor Self www.victorselffitness.com My beloved spin instructor shouted this out as I sweated along to pounding club music, at the exact moment I was absolutely sure that my legs were going to fall off. I couldn’t help but think about how this…

  • >It’s not about the toothpaste.

    >It’s not about the toothpaste.

    You’re staring at your partner’s toothbrush, resting comfortably on its spot above the sink, dripping creamy white froth onto your shiny faucet. Drip. Drip. Driiiiiip… You have asked them to rinse it about Forty. Billion. Times… Each drip raises your anger to a new level until you are moved to storm down the hallway and…

  • >Excitement? Arousal?

    I’m trying to think of good therapist-y words that will convey to you what I’m feeling about what I’m doing this week. “Therapist Porn” comes close, but the resulting spam is just not worth it… I’m in NYC, attending four days of intense training with the founder of Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Dr. Sue Johnson, and soooooo…

  • >”I’m sorry” isn’t enough…

    >”I’m sorry” isn’t enough…

    How many times do you have to hear ‘I’m sorry,’ before you stop believing it?! How many times are you going to make the same mistake, or allow your partner to continue hurting you, before you insist that something be done?! Being faithful is not just about staying married, it’s about believing in the best…

  • >Life is interesting enough…

    >Life is interesting enough…

    As Maria Shriver prophecied years ago, life with Ahh-nold would be “…not an easy life, but an interesting one…” My question as her therapist (which I am clearly not, nor have I ever knowingly treated anyone related to either family) would be, “Interesting, how?” As in, ‘good interesting’ or ‘unstable interesting’ (i.e. nauseating). Of course,…

  • >Happy Mother’s (in-Law) Day…

    Have you had “your day” absolutely ruined by a Mother-in-Law?! I think it’s the complaint I hear most often after a day like “Mother’s Day”… That’s why I absolutely loved this brief post by a MiL who brings her therapist-ness to her new role. She’s never been a Mother-in-Law before AND she never really had…

  • >It’s not about what you think it’s about…

    >It’s not about what you think it’s about…

    If something bothers you, like it really reeeeeally grates on your nerves, more than twice, there is a law of nature that applies. It’s called the 90/10 rule, and I learned it from the relationship masterminds Hedy and Yumi. Yes, about 10% of what pisses you off is actually what’s in front of you. Yes,…

  • >You gotta take a break…

    >You gotta take a break…

    What’s a Tuesday without a little self- disclosure?!??! Toward the end my internship at a domestic violence shelter in Boston, my supervisor, we’ll call her Elaine, noticed that I had not taken a vacation since September, eight months prior. “Nope,” I answered proudly, “I’m all good, though, don’t worry about me…”, which was cleeeearly the…