>Tears. Good ones. Laughing Tears.

Top 10 Crazy Things
said when up late with Kids…

(click link)

Though years go by in a heartbeat, some of these nights Will. Not. End.

>”Marriage is a f***ing Marathon…”*

My husband used to do triathlons; he would swim, then bike, then run, as I quietly analyzed what sort of mental disorder would make him actually want to do all of that.

It wasn’t the actual competition, but the preparation that most intrigued me. As much as physical training, you had to have a plan – How will I support my body to endure what my heart most wishes to do?! This usually involved some personal combination of hydration, salt tablets, …

>Is it me???

Yeah, it’s you – partly. I mean, no matter how screwed up your partner is, you’re the one who chose them in the first place, so you must be at least equally screwed up, right?! But before you drown your sorrows in the concoction of your choice (i.e.; ice cream with mashed-up candy bars, mmm…) consider this:

The person you are today is a different version of the one who said, “I do”; it’s you, but better, wiser, full of new …

>I freaking hate my boss!

I used to work with a woman who routinely made people cry, seethe and tear their hair out. Nobody liked her, not even her boss… people had tried to get her fired, and failed, so they stopped trying. It seemed hopeless, inescapable. If you’re being abused all day at work, with no end in sight, it’s really REALLY hard to come home to be nice to the people who matter most to you (that’s your family, btw…)

This post was originally …

>It’s not me, it’s YOU!!!

Yup. Sometimes it actually is all about your partner. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. But rather than just saying that, you respond to them with some version of ”Wow, that’s a really f***ed up thing to say, you big idiot!” …annnnnnnnnd now it actually is about you, too.

It goes like this  – Jeni* brings up the idea that she needs more ‘down’ time in her relationship with Jeff, and suggests that he reconnect with …

>It’s not about the toothpaste.

You’re staring at your partner’s toothbrush, resting comfortably on its spot above the sink, dripping creamy white froth onto your shiny faucet. Drip. Drip. Driiiiiip… You have asked them to rinse it about Forty. Billion. Times… Each drip raises your anger to a new level until you are moved to storm down the hallway and screech horribly, “WHY DID YOU EVEN MARRY ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!??!” True story. Embellished just a little.

It’s true that something huge, like an …

>Excitement? Arousal?

I’m trying to think of good therapist-y words that will convey to you what I’m feeling about what I’m doing this week. “Therapist Porn” comes close, but the resulting spam is just not worth it…

I’m in NYC, attending four days of intense training with the founder of Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Dr. Sue Johnson, and soooooo loving it. Why does traditional couples therapy fall short?! Maybe it’s because at best, it teaches people to communicate more effectively, although the thing …

>It’s not about what you think it’s about…

If something bothers you, like it really reeeeeally grates on your nerves, more than twice, there is a law of nature that applies. It’s called the 90/10 rule, and I learned it from the relationship masterminds Hedy and Yumi.

Yes, about 10% of what pisses you off is actually what’s in front of you. Yes, it is rude and inconsiderate when your partner leaves her wet teabag and grains of sugar scattered about the kitchen counter …

>Getting good at heartbreak

Here’s the hard truth – there is no love that won’t leave you heartbroken and wanting for more, at times*; so why not get good at it?

Heartbreaks come in all shapes and sizes, like having your partner fall short of your expectations; or standing by helplessly as your grown (or growing) child rejects your help and makes painful choices without you. It’s not that you should give up on (those you) love – it’s that you could

>Oh, you big baby!!!

In our relationships, we’re often bogged down with “emotional baggage”, backward reasoning and twisted logic that distract us from the truth… that we just wanna be loved.

What would happen if you dropped all of your big, grown-up words and were honest about what you need? Well, you just might resemble the baby in the clip below; she vies for Mom’s attention with increasing volume, as Mom stares blankly back. Sooooooo… imagine the baby is your partner, trying to get your …