>Divorce Protection…

You didn’t know what you were getting into – I mean, how would you have even known that you should talk about it, until you’d gone three rounds of progressively louder shrieking with your new spouse over where you were going to spend Thanksgiving?! (…obviously it’s at Nonna’s house – it’s always at Nonna’s house!!!) When I do premarital counseling, we talk about everything from concrete stuff like living arrangements to the elusive “communication” category. It’s an incredibly effective way of generating conversations you may not have had, or known to have, before you say “Forrrr – EVER”… (er, “I do”).

Think about it- what do you wish you’d known before getting married? Depending on the research you’re looking at, even a teeeeeny bit of premarital counseling goes a long way, but somehow it doesn’t happen for most couples, unless it’s required by their celebrant. What would it be like if preparatory measures going into marriage got as much media attention as strategic measures getting out of it (i.e.; divorce)?

I was excited to see that HuffPost picked up an Associated Press article about open financial discussion as a divorce-prevention measure!! I’ll tell you, of all the things couples do NOT want to talk about, the biggest is probably money . Whether they are premarital or very-marital, they’ll talk about sex before money. I do not need to share more on this point.

I’ve said this before; money is security. But like sex, we are socialized to think that it’s a bad or “rude” thing to talk about money, so we don’t. Couples get stuck arguing about where to save and spend, when the real concern is actually in wondering if you will be able to take care of each other, and possibly your growing family. Most people don’t recognize that deeper emotion – so finances become a source of tension, and related discussions get avoided at all costs. Add today’s economic climate to that mix, and you’ll find that many people are living in a state of chronic financial crisis. (…and not talking about it… you see the problem…)

So check out the article here. Tell me what you agree with, or don’t – Tell me what you wish you knew before going into your marriage.


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One response to “>Divorce Protection…”

  1. Harriet M.

    Maggie, I wish I’d known that I can’t change my husband, even when we both know it’s the best thing. Thank you.

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