> You married the Wrong Person.

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You totally married the wrong person.

We all did…

… and here’s why.

 

We are social animals; so if you are human and have a heartbeat, you are will absolutely live through many versions of yourself based on your experiences shaping you over the course of a marriage. The person you are and the one who sleeps beside you, are literally different people than you were at “I do”. So how could the ‘right’ person, right now, still be that in 5, 10, or 20 years?

How could we not pick the “wrong” person?

According to some psychotherapy models, we actually choose our partner largely based on damage done to our psyche during childhood; we are still trying to work it out many years later. Add to that the pressures of childbearing and primitive fear of being alone, and we are downright compelled to find the right person, right now.

No, like, now. RIGHT. NOW.

More tragically put by Alain de Botton, author of a last Sunday’s NYT piece, “…We marry the wrong people because we don’t associate being loved with feeling happy.” Check him out.

So know that you’re not alone in this feeling; and there is good reason to hope that the Wrong Person may be the best thing that ever happened to you.

I want to say more about that over the next few weeks in a series of posts based on this idea and whatever conversation it generates.

So click that link and come back to comment with me.

We’ll chat.

www.BreakthroughMFT.com