>The ring didn’t mean a thiiiiiing…

The topic of interest seems to be Kim Kardashian and whether I think it was a “real” marriage or not; Why did she return the ring?… Why did I waste four hours of my life on that stupid ‘E’ Channel special event?!?!?

Despite being shot from five different camera angles, only two people in the world know what really happened, and the story from either side likely sounds very different. Kim’s not alone in that she’s divorced (ok, twice) and barely 30*. Truth is, traditional reasons for marriage don’t always make sense anymore; it wasn’t so long ago that marriage was based on survival interests, like lowering your chance of getting eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger! Today we seek love, friendship, and good sex and see less and less reason to stay in a marriage that ‘doesn’t make us happy’. Even though we all know that expecting another person to magically “make” you happy, Will. Backfire. Every. Time.  (I mean, we know that, right?!)

Kim’s situation highlights that starting with the engagement, many couples are more focused on ‘The Wedding’ than The Marriage. Go ahead and celebrate; but once the champagne is done, it’s important that you really discuss what you’re getting into. NOTE: If you’d rather not talk about it, consider that a red flag that you should.

Example: you love partying together now, but expect that it will instantly stop at “I do”… Or you know his mother hates you now, but that will surely change once she sees you in the perfect gown… Bad news – Not only doesn’t it magically get better,  it will most definitely get worse. Premarital counseling can help you discuss those tough issues and reach a shared understanding of what your marriage will look like.

Sigh. To be a fly on the wall at Kim Kardashian’s premarital couns… oh, they didn’t have any? Prenup? Oh, okay, at least they were looking out for something.

*For more on women divorcing in their 20’s, check out this article: HuffPost: Why Women in their 20’s get Hitched when they should have Ditched

Comments

  1. I really like this blog entry Maggie. A lot of things ended when I said “I do” but I have to remind myself of for time to time is all of the things that began when I said “I do”. I think when entering a marriage one has to be prepared for the fact that things change people change. For me the key has been to realize that you never stop growing, and neither does your spouse, and you have to figure out how to grow together (preferably figure if can before you get married, ha!). I am not exactly the same person I was when I said “I do”, but I think that’s a good thing, I’m better.

    Having kids together now that’s a different chapter and it has had its own period of adjustments and changes. I would love to see a blog about common problems/issues that arise within a marriage when couples start having children and maybe tips on how to deal with them. Be nice to know I am not alone.

    Thank you for this awesome insight!

    • Thanks for the inspiration, AAJ-
      I’d love to do a post on “The Big Three” (that’s what I call the major points of contention in most marriages) – Sex, Kids and Money… Look for it in the week or two after this week’s “Thanks-giving Special”!!!