>Txting to DIS-connect

I<3 txting; it’s so much easier for obvious reasons; mostly because I get my message across in a fraction of the time it would take to actually speak to someone; (Hiiiiiii… how are youuuuuu…).

The problem is not with texting or email, it’s in how we use it.

When you are texting, you cannot feel the other person the way you can when you are listening to their voice; that means that they can’t always tell that you’re being silly, and you can’t tell how badly you’ve hurt them with that last comment, which they took as a jab. Suddenly it takes on a life of its own, and neither of you know why – you feel threatened and walls go up, ’cause that’s what we do when we feel threatened. You’re getting all defensive and you were only texting to find out what time they were coming home. Here’s my definite rule – No arguing on text. When it gets weird, switch to the phone and say, “Hey, I think we’re missing each others’ meaning – let’s finish this on the phone”. If it can’t be resolved that quickly, CALL and assure your partner that you’ll discuss it later, and give it a specific time. Did you hear me? Assure them, don’t dictate. If you don’t know what I mean, ask your partner. I’m pretty sure they’ll know.

Texting also alienates the actual people who are around you – it’s like picking up a phone call and loudly talking to someone, in the middle of a group of other people. (‘Can you hear me now?!’)  Think about it – when you get a phone call, you excuse yourself – but for some reason, it’s become okay to text away and ignore the people in front of you. Although you’re reaching out to connect, you are alienating the people you are actually with. New reasearch shows serious hormonal interference in terms of our ability to receive soothing from stress while texting. So when you come out of a tough meeting with a colleague, you can’t be soothed by their actual support, because you are too busy texting someone else about the very meeting you are upset about.

So I loovvvvve texting for its ease and convenience. And I hate when it gets overused and interferes with the close connections with actual people who are right in front of you. Here’s a 1.5 minute video that speaks volumes more than words – Enjoy!







Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *