Archives for April 2011

>Assume = ASS + U & ME

How often do you feel that your partner doesn’t know you, or that you are talking at rather than with each other? These symptoms often indicate¬† a relationship parasite known as assumption.

We interpret the world according to our own experience; but being in a healthy relationship means getting out of your own head and recognizing that the other person’s unique experience is as real and as important as yours. When you assume that the other …

>It’s not about what you think it’s about…

If something bothers you, like it really reeeeeally grates on your nerves, more than twice, there is a law of nature that applies. It’s called the 90/10 rule, and I learned it from the relationship masterminds Hedy and Yumi.

Yes, about 10% of what pisses you off is actually what’s in front of you. Yes, it is rude and inconsiderate when your partner leaves her wet teabag and grains of sugar scattered about the kitchen counter …

>You gotta take a break…

What’s a Tuesday without a little self- disclosure?!??!

Toward the end my internship at a domestic violence shelter in Boston, my supervisor, we’ll call her Elaine, noticed that I had not taken a vacation since September, eight months prior. “Nope,” I answered proudly, “I’m all good, though, don’t worry about me…”, which was cleeeearly the wrong response. I’m sure Elaine made some kind of empathic statement before informing me of the importance of taking time off, and I’m sure I …

>Getting good at heartbreak

Here’s the hard truth – there is no love that won’t leave you heartbroken and wanting for more, at times*; so why not get good at it?

Heartbreaks come in all shapes and sizes, like having your partner fall short of your expectations; or standing by helplessly as your grown (or growing) child rejects your help and makes painful choices without you. It’s not that you should give up on (those you) love – it’s that you could