>The Other ‘Morning After’

Prince-Charming-on-horseYou got married (hopefully) because you took time to learn about each other and found something special there. Did you really expect to wake up as the same people every day forever?!

The problem is that no one talks about what it’s really like to be married; no one talks about what happens the morning after you ride off on that white horse into the sunset… So of course you worry that there’s something wrong with you when your Sleeping Beauty starts complaining constantly; or your Prince Charming becomes less attentive.

The most important thing is how you respond to those changes, how you bring it up with each other; and most of us don’t know how to talk about it – so we don’t.

It’s normal for relationships to go through periods of fluctuating enthusiasm; it’s our fear about addressing it that puts us at risk; and we make it worse by complaining to anyone BUT our partner, or suffer silently – (that includes drinking or eating too much, by the way…)

Most families don’t teach us how to address relationship issues in a healthy way, if at all. Communication is how we continue to learn about each other, as life changes and as we change in response. So think about the way you’d like to be spoken to, and then use that voice with your partner.

If you don’t have time to talk, that’s because you haven’t made it; if you have time to get that thing done for work, you have ten minutes to talk at the end of the day. Even if you sit in silence, because you have nothing to say, you have learned something incredibly important about your relationship, yes?! Get curious instead of angry -how did it get so quiet between the two of you? There’s a good place to start.







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