> You married the Wrong Person.


You totally married the wrong person.

We all did…

… and here’s why.


We are social animals; so if you are human and have a heartbeat, you are will absolutely live through many versions of yourself based on your experiences shaping you over the course of a marriage. The person you are and the one who sleeps beside you, are literally different people than you were at “I do”. So how could the ‘right’ person, right now, still be that …

>Strapped In

Balancing both feet on a thin wire strung high up between two trees, even my pinkie fingers are shaking.

I’ve gotten almost to the middle without looking down..

But when I see how far I could fall, I see only certain death coming if I continue.

I feel only the fear.

I freeze.

Static fills my ears.

Then a voice reaches up to me –

“What’s gonna happen if you fall?”

Apparently, my whole team had …

>Why VDay is Hilarious…

Okay, it is not that I hate V-Day;

I do take issue with a culturally integrated event in which folks are encouraged to save up all of their appreciation of each other for one day of ‘sorry I’ve been such a d-bag the other 364′.

And apparently there’s not enough alcohol, sugar and flowers to make up for it, because I get a lot of calls on the 15th from couples who would ‘please like to …


When was the last time you played?

I mean…

Just let

your body


It’s Sunday night, way past bedtime, and my daughter has come out of bed for the third time. We’ve had a fantastic weekend, and I think she just doesn’t want it to end.

I know the feeling.

She has that smile on her face; the one that sometimes infuriates me because, generally speaking;

Now. Is not. The time.

But the energy from …

> Why your wife looks like a Sabre-Tooth Tiger

Q: “Sometimes I feel SO ready to talk to my wife but one look from her, and I shut down. I really want to tell her, but I just can’t…” –”Don”

A: Don, you’re perfectly describing the desire to be known, at the same moment you’re terrified to be ‘found out’. Which makes you human. So there’s good news.

Fear is rooted in the survival center of our brain, and cavemen who had sex when they should have been hunting …

>Simple. But not Easy.

Maybe you know that I spin. What you may not know is that spinning has carried me through some really tough stuff.

At times, I’ve felt safest when I was alone on the bike; and all that mattered was how my legs powered up and my body surged forward – looking for the next race.

(Yeah, therapists get defensive too…)

But it got lonely up there, and it was definitely getting old. The bike didn’t hold the same energy as it did before. …

>Tears. Good ones. Laughing Tears.

Top 10 Crazy Things
said when up late with Kids…

(click link)

Though years go by in a heartbeat, some of these nights Will. Not. End.

>How to Suceed at Marriage Therapy (?)

The research says that by the time most couples get into therapy, it’s about six years later than they should have come; and there are all kinds of reasons for that. Bygones.

Once you get on that path, though – once you are ready to make that call, what should you consider? How should you approach it? I love this HuffPost blog about ‘How to Succeed at Marriage Therapy’

I would …

>Comfort in the crazy…

As a child, who held you when you cried? Did it feel safe, comforting? Or was there something missing?

I believe that most parents are doing the best they can, with the resources they have. That said, it’s fairly common for folks to report that as kids, they weren’t held in a way that felt safe, or comforting; or even held at all… So where would you have learned how to give your partner comfort? Where would you have learned …

>Loving like cats and dogs…

He loves her like a dog – he jumps on her when she gets home, and will not. let. go. until a sufficient amount of head-patting/scruff rubbing has commenced. If she’s too tired, he nips at her or barks sharply, demanding attention, until she snaps back or ultimately closes the door on him. She is less expressive, more cat-like in her approach. She takes her time, twitches her tail, maybe purrs inaudibly, and then casually saunters over to rub …